You will not always marry your most strongly bonded soulmate. There may be more than one for you, because soul families travel together. You might choose to marry a less bonded soul companion, one who has something specific to teach you or to learn from you.
Your recognition of a soulmate may occur later in life, after both of you are already committed to your present-life families. Your strongest soulmate connection may be to your parent, or to your child, or to your sibling. Your strongest connection may be to a soulmate who has not incarnated during your lifetime and who is watching over you from the other side, like a guardian angel.
Sometimes your soulmate is willing and available. He or she might recognize the passion and the chemistry between you, the intimate and subtle bonds that imply connections over many lifetimes. Yet he or she may be toxic for you. It is a matter of soul development.
If one soul is less developed and more ignorant than the other, traits of violence, greed, jealousy, hatred, and fear might be brought into the relationship. These tendencies are toxic to the more evolved soul, even if from a soulmate. Frequently rescue fantasies arise with the thought, I can change him; I can help her grow.
If he does not allow your help, if in her free will she chooses not to learn, not to grow, the relationship is doomed. Perhaps there will be another chance in another lifetime, unless he awakens later in this one. Late awakenings do happen.
A soulmate who is available but unawakened is a tragic figure and can cause you great anguish. Unawakened means that he or she does not see life clearly, is not aware of the many levels of existence. Unawakened means not knowing about souls. Usually it is the everyday mind prevents awakening. We hear the excuses of the mind all the time; I'm too young, I need more experience; I'm not ready to settle down yet; you are of a different religion ( or race, region, social status, intellectual level, cultural background, and so on). These are all excuses, for souls possess none of these attributes.
The attraction is definitely there, but the source of the recognized chemistry is not understood. It is delusional to believe that this passion, this soul recognition and attraction, will be easily found again with another person. You may only run into such a soulmate once or twice more in a lifetime. Divine grace may reward a good heart, a loving soul.
Meeting soulmates is a matter of destiny. They will occur. After the meeting, the free will of both partners reigns. Whatever decision made or not made are a matter of free will, of choice. The less awakened will make decisions based on the mind and all of its fears and prejudices. Unfortunately, this often leads to heartache. The more awakened the couple is, the more likelihood of a decision based on love. When both partners are awakened, ecstacy is within their grasp.