The wise woman sat there for a while and listened to me rant before she interrupted. "What is your part in all this?"she asked.
My defences came up. My arms drawn protectively in front of me, the elderly woman held me accountable for my personal and professional choices.
"Your circumstances may seem out of control, but they are all connected to the past. See your part in the past and resolve them. You cause your own delays, restraints and limitations. Your choices led you to this outcome."
"What?" I said in a startled voice.
"Life doesn't just happen to you," she said with a warm smile. "Job changes, relationship endings, death and relocation affects all our lives without warning. In life there is trial and error. Sometimes things work out, sometimes it doesn't. It was your reaction that decided your outcome."
I shivered as goose bumps appear on my skin.
Think about what you want in life. Write your wants down. Break down your wishes in the simplest form. Don't worry so much about how, just write them down and say your list out loud a few times. The most worthwhile goals are the ones that seem out of reach." Her smile was broad and warm. "Your new interest in witchcraft may help you. Magic is changing the mind at will. Action follows thought. If you can see something in the mind, then you can bring it to physical form." After a short pause she said, "Living within your means is responsible. But prove you can also be creative. Act on what you've learnt." The wise woman looked at her watch and stood. "Think about what I say, it is all I ask of you."
I followed her out on to the sidewalk. "Until we meet again," she said, and then rounded the corner. I walked across the park to my apartment and thought about what my elderly friend had said. The wise woman's support and inspiration inspired me to change my circumstances.
On the next Full Moon, at eleven-thirty p.m. I sat comfortably with a candle lit, clean piece of paper and pen in hand. I looked back at my beginning. What choices led me to my now. It was my choice to leave the safety of the family farm at fourteen without completing my education. My choice of a mate because I couldn't be honest. My choice to join a crowd of strangers just to belong somewhere. My choices did not help me, they were against me.
I focused at the dancing flame. Visions appeared. I saw myself in California visiting my sister and on a beach in Mexico. A large brick fireplace materialized and me twirling outdoors in the hay fields. I wrote them down on the clean piece of paper. The breakthrough changed everything. I focused on a solution to my current situation rather than a band aid. I wanted to accept my past choices and move on with being the person I could be. .
I dropped everything and moved home to the family farm to build back my relationships with the people I care for, and who care for me. In the years to come I read literature concerning witchcraft history and culture only to discover my heritage. I spent time with a clairvoyant and two psychics. I cherish the things we have in common and am grateful for the guidance given. With the passage of time I made domestic and career moves. I wrote page after page of the life I experienced to heal myself and become at peace with my choices.
The life style changes were not easy, but I believed if I wake and do what's best for me without harming anyone intentionally, my future would take care of itself. It took time to be able to stand in front of the mirror and be alright with me. There are days that are good and then days that are not so good. But now the dramas are short lived. I can say my wish list came true. I've flown to California to visit my sister; I've tanned on the beaches in Mexico; I live in home with a very large brick fireplace. I am a published writer and some day, Higher Powers willing, a published author.
Learning the basics of witchcraft provided me with a firmer foundation. Today I am okay with me and my choices. I don't get caught up in image. I concentrate on substances.
Not sure what to do with your life? May I suggest on the next Full or New Moon you take a few minutes and rest yourself before a lit candle. Take a few deep breaths. Mediate while studying the flame. Don't just look at the fire. See the arrangement of shapes that appear. Allow the candle to burn down. Write in your Book of Shadows everything you saw, and heard. No one is average. We are all unique individuals. Freedom of expression, your choices, your life. (c)2010AngieSkelhorn